In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to control everything around us. But here’s a piece of advice: Stop trying to control the world.
The Futility of Control
You can’t control what other people do or think. Whether it’s your mom, dad, wife, husband, kids, or boss—you simply can’t control them. Attempting to do so is a fruitless endeavor. Resistance is futile, as they used to say in Star Trek. Focusing on others and trying to determine their actions is beyond your reach and will only leave you frustrated.
The Serenity Prayer
Every day, I recite words that some call the Serenity Prayer: “Help me understand what I’m in charge of. Help me understand what I can control. Help me understand what I cannot control.” The most important part of this daily affirmation is recognizing the difference between what you can control and what you can’t.
Discernment Brings Peace
You need to discern what is within your control and what isn’t. This discernment spells serenity, peace, harmony, and power. It allows you to be the center of your life rather than floundering on the edges. Imagine a merry-go-round: If you stand in the middle, you maintain your balance. But if you stand on the edge, the ride will toss you off, leaving you dizzy and disoriented. Finding your center provides a clear and stable worldview.
Focus on Your World
How do you determine what you can’t control? Is it based on your decisions, your viewpoint, or your desired outcomes? What you are truly responsible for is achieving the results related to your own dreams—not living out expectations imposed by your parents, society, or even your bosses and children. To find serenity, you need to make a conscious decision: I am not going to try to control the world anymore. You can only control your world, and that is your assignment.
Build Your Life Around Yourself
What about the rest of the world and the people in it? What about important relationships, your job, and other external factors? The answer is simple: Never build your life around others’ expectations. Here’s why: You can’t do it. You don’t have the capacity or bandwidth to control what your boss thinks about you. Yes, you should do your job well and respect the opportunities given to you, but ultimately, you can’t control it. You can only control yourself.
Your Real Job: You
Your primary job on earth is managing yourself. This realization is profound and deserves its own detailed discussion, but for now, focus on demanding more from yourself. Don’t try to change the world. Don’t put on a cape and mask and assume a superhero persona. Instead, focus on what you can control—yourself.
By redirecting your energy inward, you free yourself from the futile effort of trying to manage external variables. You gain peace, harmony, and a true sense of control over your own life.
Remember, you can’t control the world, but you can control your world. Make that your focus, and you’ll find the serenity you’ve been seeking.
